Attention

This is good attention (yay).  This is bad attention (booh).

Guess which I'd like, and guess which my plate is heaped with a steaming pile of.

If anyone knows how to rectify this ratio, oh my gosh, would I love to hear from you.

Special thanks to Alleen Brown, and kudos to my fellow Mpls-based bloggers.

Movember

I'm participating in a health awareness campaign called "Movember."  What this means is: in order to direct awareness to the matter of men's cancer, I'm growing a moustache for the month of November.  Here's my profile page on the site.

Why am I doing this?  There are a few reasons.

Obviously, any life-threatening medical concern deserves to have attention paid to it.  Donations are what we're after, and I hope that by subjugating my vanity for a month people will understand my level of commitment to this cause.

It's also a useful opportunity to get over myself, an important lesson in self-improvement.  I would never grow a moustache to look good or portray an image, with my negative connotation with moustaches.  They look good on some people but not me.  It's worthwhile to do something that makes me look and feel awkward, so I can focus on my inner strength and detach myself from my physical constraints.

Lastly, a few of my coworkers are joined together on a team for this cause and I thought I would show support.  Building unity and cohesiveness can't be bad.

Lookin' Out My Back Door

Huh. Looks like someone started a little fire in a trash container behind CVS/pharmacy (which always struck me as an unusual name for a store, though I guess it depends on what "CVS" stands for).

I was wandering around the office and glanced out a window. Two blocks south of me there was a large plume of dull white smoke spreading across Hennepin, coming from around the pharmacy and originating in the parking lot. Maxing out my camera's physical and digital zoom capacities, I got a couple shots of firefighters calmly extinguishing an extremely localized fire, a very low arc of water lazily falling out of their hose to put it out.

Several people gathered nearby to watch the procedure. What with the bright lights and loud noises, who could blame them? Five minutes later I saw the truck and crowd had cleared out and the receptacle was back in place, hardly the worse for wear, apparently.

Further bulletins as events warrant.

Nothing is New

I very nearly saw an accident this morning.  This car raced up to an intersection whose light had turned yellow while she was a considerable distance away.  Consequently, it turned red before she entered the intersection and she intended to blow through it.

Problem: in oncoming traffic, another car was already lazily wheeling through a left turn, so it was nearly T-boned by the lady in this car as she roared up.

By the way this car rocked to a stop, it seemed she only reluctantly applied her brakes while wrestling through second thoughts (and third thoughts) about maybe darting around the turning car, estimating how she could sneak around the front or whether there was time--which there absolutely was not and never had been--to skate around the back.

Frustrated, she simply came to a rest in the middle of the pedestrian section, almost completely past the thick white line in front of which cars are supposed to stop.

What made me laugh was her bumper sticker advocating motorcycle awareness.  It's my guess she only spots them in order to run them down or shove them off the road.

And no, I'm not going to regularly update this blog with egregious traffic offenses.  My general mindset suffers when I'm constantly on the lookout for the shit people will try to pull (and Minneapolitans are a self-important, lawless, and inept population of motorists and cyclists, so there is always something going on), so I have to block it all out.  I haven't ridden my bike to work in weeks--as the swelling ring of fat around my gut may testify--opting to take the bus and zone out with Podcasts.  It just happened that this very nearly was a violent accident and I happened to look up at the right (or wrong) time.

...Yes, I can see this person isn't from Minnesota, but this little incident indicates she feels right at home here, weather excepting.

MMO Review: Dream of Mirror Online

Dream of Mirror Online (DOMO) looks simple. The characters are cartoonish with clean lines and bright expressions, and they make cute noises when you move them about. The movements are not sophisticated: they don't sway naturally like characters in World of Warcraft. They move like animated action figures as you run around the continent from village to village.

And yet, and yet...

There is something addictive to this game that has me anxious to come back.

The theme of the game is that of legendary China: the architecture and default costumes are very properly Chinese--the zombies themselves are an artifact of Chinese tradition, momentarily baffling to uninformed Western eyes. DOMO is a heavily social game, as well, with missions and dungeons requiring the player to form a group (short- or long-term).

An interesting feature of the game is the "Thread of Fate."  When you start up a character you have to create a birth date (day and month) and a year, but the latter is according to the Chinese zodiac. The combination of these factors determine certain players in the game who will be linked by fate to you.  The link is quite literal: I was minding my own business when suddenly a long red line like a laser sight shot out of my neck and stretched off-screen somewhere.  My headphones filled with the heavy beating of a heart (ostensibly mine), whose pulse quickened as I ran in the direction of the line.  I found myself connected to a complete stranger, standing with a group of friends in a plaza.

A Penny Arcade forum figured out that you may get certain bonuses by connecting with these people.  The DOMO Wiki actually breaks these relationships down further, and they could be with lovers or even rivals from a past life.  And being that DOMO is such a social game, there are in-game wedding ceremonies; indeed, there's a wedding facility (currently only supporting heterosexual relationships, unfortunately) and a money-making industry behind it.

That said, these "Fate Fated" relationships are not exactly compelling to other players, from what I've seen.  I tried to approach a player with which the game suggested I was mystically bound and she was supremely disinterested, greatly preferring her clutch of illiterate social retards to a rugged, handsome stranger who could offer her stat bonuses.  So it goes.

The controls are fairly intuitive: WASD, where A and D are only strafe directions--you point yourself with your mouse and run with the keyboard.  Or you can click on the mini-map or its full-sized version, click on your destination and your character will run there automatically.  Unfortunately, this function isn't as polished as it is in the game Asda Story: your character is guided around objects, but the trajectory function is erratic and your character will appear to run blindly in several directions at once.  Their path, however, averages out to your destination.  Generally.

Big disappointment: no music to this game!  What the hell?  So much opportunity for traditional Chinese orchestration!  You get a few little musical stings with leveling up or certain other achievements, but there's no soothing or inspiring background music to get you through the long stretches.  The overwhelming silence announces itself as  you run through town or slog through the mountains.

Customization is limited to five or six choices, though you can adjust the physical dimensions of your character somewhat.  The story writing is clear and amusing, and the translation to English is usually spot-on.  There are a couple lapses but they do not negatively impact gameplay to any extent.  The Penny Arcade forum  noted that there is a lot of grinding, staying in an area and killing scores of monsters over a long period of time, and that's true.  I made the mistake of upgrading my sword beyond my own level, so now I have to fight with my fists until I'm powerful enough to use my own sword.  That's annoying: punching and kicking my way through 40 flying pigs is taking four times as long as it needs to.

And yet, and yet...

Translation Wars: Bing in the Ring

Once in a while it becomes necessary for me to translate a block of text from another language into English. I'm not fluent in any language besides English, but I am something of an amateur linguist and can usually parse out the meaning of an oblique copy. A translator need not be perfect, is what I'm saying, for me to understand what's being said.

But some translators are better than others, so I'm going to compare Babelfish (my first and favorite, then bought from Altavista by Yahoo) versus Google Translate. Oh, and isn't that cute: Bing thinks it has a translator too! Let's take it for a drive.

Yahoo! Babelfish

The ukulele the created where [jieiku] [shimabukuro] and the corporation high peak musical instrument factory give dream to the children in the joint production world The [chiyaritei] organization 'MUSIC IS GOOD MEDICINE which ukulele player [jieiku] [shimabukuro] and the management TOASTMAN and INC. manage (alias: MIGM) Announcing the new ukulele where', the corporation high peak musical instrument factory and the cooperation production which worldwide are the famous guitar manufacturer were done it reached the point of. This ukulele was produced upper quality and the fact that the convenient ukulele is delivered to purpose in the children in the world as a main project of active program “Four of the same organization which [jieiku] has managed long time Strings For Kids”.

Google Translate

Takashi Mine Musical Instruments Mfg. Co., a joint production with Jake Shimabukuro Ukulele give birth to children around the world dream

Management and ukulele player Jake Shimabukuro TOASTMAN, INC. Operated Charity organization 『MUSIC IS GOOD MEDICINE (aka: MIGM)』 is a world renowned Co announced a new ukulele and Takashi Mine Mfg. Co., a manufacturer of musical instruments guitar Led to. This ukulele is a program run by principals of the organization for many years that Jake's "Four Strings For Kids" as the main project has been produced with the goal of delivering quality and affordable ukulele to children around the world.

Bing Translator

Jake Shimabukuro and ukulele birth ukulele player Mfg. co., Ltd. Takamine musical instrument is made of joint work all over the world for children that dream Jake Shimabukuro TOASTMAN the management, INC., were to announce new ukulele guitar manufacturer world famous Mfg. co., Ltd. Takamine musical instruments and joint production 'MUSIC IS GOOD MEDICINE (alias ：MIGM)' charity organization managing,.This ukulele, that high-quality and affordable ukulele to deliver children all over the world as the main project of the same organization that operated for many years by Jake subject program "four strings for kids", was produced purpose.

What's noteworthy about this?  For one, Google was the only translator program that acknowledged and retained carriage returns, for one: Bing and Yahoo each spat out a constant stream of text without the line break that was entered.  It makes a difference.  Google: +1

It's interesting to me that Google and Bing were able to incorporate the "untranslatable" name of the ukulele player as well as the word charity within smooth, flowing text.  Yahoo isolated these words and represented them in their Anglicized forms... except "chiyaritei" is a Japanization of the sound of charity.  Yahoo's program doesn't have a database of English words the Japanese have adapted for their own purposes.  Google, Bing: +1

Jake Shimabukuro: Facebook, MySpace, official page.

While none of these translations were flawless, some were more readable than others, clearly.  Yahoo's translation reads like a hilariously inept copyediting job, where someone sat down with a dictionary and rewrote the text word for word without any concept of grammatical structure.  This is usually comedy gold for English speakers abroad, taking photos of restaurant signs and T-shirts with ridiculous linguistic concepts.  Bing was only slightly less inept than that and the average reader would still have a hard task of gleaning sense from that block of translation.  Google's translation is not perfect, but it is the most readable of the three samples.  Google: +1

Two of these translation tools struggled over the company name.  Yahoo called it "the corporation high peak musical instrument factory," which is completely inscrutable.  Google came closer with "Takashi Mine Mfg. Co." but that's still not quite accurate, as the mountains near the factory are called Takamine.  Bing wins this round with "Mfg. co., Ltd. Takamine"--the words are out of order, but the company is called, as per their Web site, Takamine Guitars.  It's important to get a company name (or geographical landmark) correct.  Bing: +1

If you're curious, this is how the text is supposed to look (from Jake's Facebook site):

Jake Shimabukuro, Takamine Guitars Strike a Chord to Benefit ‘Four Strings for Kids’

Music Is Good Medicine (MIGM), the nonprofit organization supported by Jake Shimabukuro and his management company, TOASTMAN INC., is pleased to announce the creation of a brand new ukulele developed by the renowned musical artist and the world-famous Takamine guitar company. The newly minted instrument will play a key role in supporting “Four Strings for Kids,” a program dedicated to making the ukulele available to children all over the world.

So, to sum up: Yahoo - 0 pts.  Google - 3 pts.  Bing - 2 pts.

Bing actually did better than I expected it to--being number two, the saying goes, I guess they try harder. I was pleased with Google's performance but surprised they lost a point on the company name.  For that point I estimated getting the name of the company right was more important than the word order of the company name.  I could have dinged Bing a point for that but didn't feel it was a significant hindrance to comprehending the text.

Starting Your Online Identity

Online Identity.

What's your reaction to those words? Some people cringe and want to surf online in perfect anonymity, experiencing without commitment. They want to see what a site has to offer them, without that site knowing who they are or how to get in touch with them. That's a valid, if naive, concern.

Other people just want to scream and make noise. They don't know what they want. They want a Web site up and they hope purpose/function will determine themselves later. I was like that.

Still others, and these are with whom I am concerned, want to use online representation to promote themselves for whatever purpose. Branding, transmission, howling into the void, &c. Among this group is a subset that does not currently possess Web savvy and may make a series of mistakes while trying to establish themselves online. Without insulting specific other companies, I'll instead focus on my love-affair with Google products and a few other services.

Branding Yourself.

There's nothing wrong with availing yourself of online resources to promote yourself, your ideas, or your services. This message isn't to people already doing this: this is for people shying away from the concept. My personal belief is that if you represent yourself positively, you won't go wrong.

Think about Facebook and Twitter, seriously. Twitter's a handy way to keep in touch with not just friends but professional interests. Text messaging was the first great leap in word-of-mouth advertising (the bane of bad movies, as production companies discovered), and Twitter was the second--global text-msg networking, essentially, with no roaming charges. If you keep your eyes open, you'll become startlingly aware of how many of your favorite media focii are already on Twitter: I'm following the editor of Merriam-Webster, NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, Rachel Maddow, and Queen Rania of Jordan, in addition to many of my friends and co-workers. Really, the hardest thing for me about Twitter is being mindful of my visibility and trying to sound upbeat most of the time. (It is very important to sound positive when promoting yourself. Not insipid, but not dreary and self-destructive, either.)

As for Facebook, you should already know what to do: connect with your friends, learn how to set your privacy levels, and don't post any photos you wouldn't want your grandmother or boss to see. Within that context you should still enjoy a great amount of creative liberty. (I'd recommend avoiding all those millions of tedious little games, however: they're nothing but a time-sink. Your friends will try to lure you but be strong.)

And I understand the stigma attached to Facebook: it has a reputation of being MySpace II, a big, drunken, subliterate party zone. Yes, there are idiots on Facebook and they are great in number, but your presence there doesn't have to endorse, interact with, or acknowledge them at all. You can exist pristinely, peacefully on your own, set up your own boundaries, and hand-pick the trappings and accoutrement you desire. If Facebook is a party college, you can sequester yourself in the campus library quite happily.

Self-Aggrandizing.

There are other free online resources you can use to begin to promote yourself. Get a Gmail account, to start with--trust me, you'll love it (really biting my tongue to keep from slamming the other e-mail services). With it you will be connected to Blogger, Google Sites, and Picasa, but I'll go into those later. I wanted to talk about those in this post but I'm already getting too wordy.

What you should do, however, is focus on Google Profiles, which will act as a terse biography for yourself and as a hub for all your other social networks and online activities. It's very handy: fill it out and set it as part of your Signature for all outgoing e-mail. Here's my profile, for an example. You can set restrictions on who's allowed to see your profile and information, don't worry, but try to think of it as a multidimensional business card for your friends. You can link to any blogs you write, any Web site where you have a profile, or just keep track of places you like to go. You can do the same thing with Extendr, which a lot of people prefer, but you have to pay to make it look nice and include a bio. Unless you do, it's just a useful catalog for your bookmarks.

Eh... more later.